I was walking down the street
I was walking down the street, when a man had a heart attack in front of me. I knew CPR, I knew what to do in an emergency, but in that moment I didn’t want to be someone special, so instead I found myself speeding up my breathing, raising the pitch of my voice, willing my fairly androgynous features to read as young girl, and crying out to the gathering crowd “Does anyone know CPR?” When I made my way home, I found myself whispering in an empty house, I can use this to get out of grocery runs , and I felt my stomach turn. I’m not sure if it’s because I tried to make a joke that turned sour, if I felt bad, or if I felt sick at the idea of walking outside again. I’d read stories about people who go through traumatic experiences, I know what panic feels like, so I know what they might do in response, so I do what I’ve read. I don’t stop and think until later if it’s really my panic or just what I think I should be doing. I avert my eyes from the emergency personnel, I tune out of conve...