Product Launch

All Relevant Staff,

Our product launch is right around the corner! Although we have not held formal events for the past few years due to safety and security concerns, this year we have been given the go ahead from Jordan and will be doing so. Additionally, I’m happy to announce that founder of the company and majority shareholder John Johnson will be present at the event!
More specific instructions will be coming from your department heads, and we ask that you make sure to check your email for formal communication frequently, so everyone stays on the same page.
Morgan

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Morgan,

i can’t send confidential messages as replies to the entire thread, and i’ve been officially blocked from using the sec. department master list. can I send you a message to pass along? or, better yet, get access to the master list again, so we don’t have to make a security risk from a game of email chains? i’ve copied adrian here, in case you want to have them do it instead.

Jordan

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Why’re you telling Jacobs to give more to me? I’m already busy prepping talking points for every dipshit that can’t be bothered to do it themselves. Also why can’t you send it yourself?

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Jordan - You know what you did. dickpic.jpg to the entire department is a pretty good reason to lose that privilege, you can't complain.

Adrian - Don’t call the company’s founder a dipshit, especially over COMPANY EMAIL. Even if he’s being needy.

Keep this up and I’ll have to forward this all to HR for both of your sakes.

Joking aside, you can pass whatever notes you have to me, Morgan. Also, Adrian if you’re feeling too overwhelmed, make sure to focus on the major board members. We should prioritize the major players being confident over everyone having a rough outline.

Morgan

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dickpic.jpg. Seriously? You’re lucky you weren’t fired.

And Johnson is being more than needy, I’ve got a 27 email thread I can show you if you wanna forward something to HR. I’m just bitching though, I’m ironing out details with the people who need it, but everyone’s got an outline.

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Adrian. my cat. is named Richard. and my partner named the file, I didn’t check the name before sending it to the group, because I figured it was named by the camera. it’s probably lucky it wasn’t named something worse.

guess we’re overlooking the sec. issues, i’ll send my message to you then, Morgan

celebratorydick.gif

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...dammit.

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