when she talks to her friends with a smile

She can always see them spiraling to the worst case scenario and she always ends up tripping on her haste to clarify that it’s not, that it’s better this way. She doesn’t hate her clumsy, rushed words, which never get smoother even as she repeats them endlessly (she can never erase the need to clarify that she worries sounds like a lie), or the original assumption. She hates the fact that she’s never come out of that conversation feeling like her friends believe her. 


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